... a time to plant and a time to uproot that which has been planted.
I have recently uprooted the weeds in my life. I've finally let die and laid to rest unheathly friendships and habits.
And for the first time in a very long time, I feel peaceful.
My only regret is that I vested so much time in that which has ultimately pulled me down further into the spiral. Internet friendships are such a strange thing. Over the course of a handful of years, you become emotionally invested in them. You chat on the phone from time to time, exchange text messages... you reach out in support, join together in laughter and uphold each other.
I've come to realize the majority of people don't change. And I've accepted that. But, with that I have also accepted that certain people I truly care for have become a poison to me. Attempts to talk to them about things have resulted in major blow outs. A differing opinion, no matter it's presentation ends in a virtual shouting match. I'm too old for that bullshit. If someone is incapable of disagreeing with me in a civil manner and has to resort to calling me dirty names and making false accusations about my character, then they have NO place in my life, especially as a "friend".
I refuse to apologize for who I am or what I believe. I understand that not everyone has the same opinions and standards I do, and I like that... this is what spices life. But I will not season my life with bitterness, negativity and foulness.